While You Were Out...

I want Nate prepared when he returns. Nate, I daresay you may not recognize the country. While you were out...

• The Republicans nominated a woman as vice-presidential running mate.
• Mickey Rourke made a comeback. And wow.
• Brett Favre made a comeback, leaving retirement to play for the Jets.
• The economy nosedived.
• Connecticut legalized gay marriage.
• We elected a black president.
• Minnesota elected a commedian to the U.S. Senate. Then didn't. Then did.
• California voted to undo the legalization of same-sex marriage that happened before you left.
• Illinois' governor sold the president-elect's former senate seat.
• Brett Favre retired. For good this time.
• A freakin' jet safely crash-landed on the Hudson river. All 155 alive. No shit.
• Vermont legalized same-sex marriage.
• A swine flu scare swept the country faster than, well, swine flu.
• Senator Spector revealed himself to be a democrat after all. Ok, you saw that one coming.
• A long shot won the Kentucky Derby.
• Maine legalized same-sex marriage.
• The California Supreme Court that legalized same-sex marriage before you left upheld the ban the voters rode over the court. Those married between the court's initial ruling and the ban are still legally married. So to summarize, same-sex marriage is illegal in California, but there are legally wed same-sex couples. It's like, well, California.
• The U.S. nationalized General Motors to prevent the company's bankruptcy.
• General Motors, under new ownership, went bankrupt.
• Jay Leno left the Tonight Show. Moving to prime time.
• New Hampshire legalized same-sex marriage.
• Michael Jackson died. Or was killed.
• Brett Favre announced he is interested in playing for the Vikings.
• Alaska's governor announced she was so efficient she finished her term of office early and is going home. You betcha.
• A latina joined the U.S. Supreme Court, arguing more or less that white men can't judge.
• Former President Clinton flew half way around the world to pick up a couple girls.
• Brett Favre announced he will not play for the Vikings and will stay retired. For good this time.
• Realizing he is adicted to retiring, Brett Favre became the Vikings' quarterback, committed to playing until that retirement bug bites again.

Can't wait 'til you're back! Safe travels!